The world and social media has gone fucking nuts. I get that people see the problem and the solution differently – it’s been this way since the beginning of time. What I don’t understand is when did people become so mean to each other? Has it always been this way and I just didn't notice…or has the platform of social media provided once decent, compassionate people the opportunity to say things they wouldn't normally say?
The world felt heavy today, and on my way into town I passed a homeless man standing in the rain. I felt inspired to buy him a cup of coffee because he looked cold and miserable. As I was purchasing his coffee an idea hit me, rather than just giving him the cup of coffee and leaving I would stay and drink mine with him. I would have coffee with a homeless person…in the rain, and get his perspective on the world. So I joined him on the corner and learned that his name was David. We reminisced about the fact that we had both lived in San Diego and discussed the trials of raising children (he has five grown daughters). David has pancreatic cancer and became homeless when his mother who he was caring for passed away. He didn't qualify to stay in her Section 8 apartment by himself and his $400.00 a month is not enough to afford his own place. He chooses to not sleep in the shelter because he told me that, “In the shelter, you wake up with less stuff than you went in with”. He prefers to sleep in his sleeping bag by himself…I told him that was pretty brave, I would be scared of rapists or serial killers and he jokingly replied, “Yes, I hate it when I get killed”. This made me laugh, and I was enjoying David’s company. He had such a positive attitude, when he told me he had pancreatic cancer and I said that I was sorry to hear that…he replied, “It will be ok” with a smile.
I asked David if he needed anything and he said, “Just $14.00”… that was his goal for the day. He took a shiny penny out of his pocket and said, “Penny for your thoughts” Then he looked at me, I mean really looked at me and said, “Candy, what do you need”? I instantly started to tear up… a homeless man with cancer was asking me what I needed. As I tried to come up with an answer to give a person who doesn't have anything, I realized that I had the privilege of having needs that were much more existential. So I told David, I just needed people to be nice. Lean in here, because this is where shit gets real. David put his hand on my shoulder, looked deep in my eyes and said, “I’m so sorry”. That’s where I lost it, I don’t know if it was the heaviness of the day, or his compassion, or his intense presence in the moment. He held me as I sobbed while we stood in the rain on the street corner. After a few moments he said, “I just want people to be nice too”.
As I was leaving I put that penny in my coat pocket to keep as a reminder of how strange and wonderful life is and to inspire myself to always be willing to step outside of myself and challenge the status quo.
Oh, and to be nice of course.
P.S. If you live in Kitsap County and see David on the corner of Randall and Silverdale Way and you feel so inclined, please show him some love and be sure to mention my name so that he will know that I am thinking about him.
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