Que Sera, Sera . . . or Let it Go, Part Deux

As I approach 42, the reality of having another child seems further away.  A post I saw the other day asked "How old will you be when your youngest child graduates high school?"  If I had a baby in the next year or so, I will be 61 ish.  Wow, that was kind of eye opening.  Do I want to still want to be raising a teenager at 60?

Yesterday, I did something I've never done before; I had a psychic reading done.  A friend has been encouraging me to visit a working psychic she has seen before for clarity on issues in her life.  I saw an advertisement the other day for a "Spiritual and Healing Arts Fair" being held locally and I thought it would be interesting to check out.  We made it a ladies' day out and four of us met for lunch at a Thai place and then onto the woo-woo fair.  The psychic I've been wanting to see was there and doing readings - yay!  I waited my turn and sat down to hear my fate.  First she asked to hold my hand and asked me to state my full given name.  We talked for about 15 minutes, she would tell me some thoughts she was getting and she gave me the opportunity to ask her some specific questions I had.  Of course, I explained our last year of trying to conceive and asked her if it was something I should pursue more aggressively or just "let it go".  She said she could see me having another pregnancy and baby, but it would be when I wasn't expecting yet and it would not happen right away.  I'm not sure what to make of my experience.  Some of the things she told me were vague, or could have been inferred by my comments, others seemed like it was affirming what I wanted to hear, and other stuff just seemed off.

I'm open to the paranormal.  I saw and interacted to fairies when I was little, I've had predictive "flashes" throughout my life and have felt ghostly presences.  When I was a teen I had tarot cards, studied Wicca and was a big X-files fan.  I want to believe.

But, I also have a healthy dose of realism that keeps me from fully jumping into the mystical pot. However, I did pause when I sat down at another booth where a licensed massage therapist, who was also an "intuitive empath" was giving chair massages.  She started on my tight neck muscles and asked "do you have fibromyalgia?"  The psychic reader had also just asked me that.  I've had aches and pains in my shoulders, neck and hips over the years that I thought was maybe osteoarthrosis but had never considered fibromyalgia.  I'm not sure that this is my issue but it is something to watch.

Basically, my takeaway from this, and in general I've felt my life is leading me to this path, is that I need to take better care of my body.  I want to feel better and look better.  I don't want to huff and puff when I walk up a short hill.  I don't want to creak and groan when I get up off the couch.  I was so happy that I successfully lost 30 lbs with Weight Watchers a couple of years ago.  I'm not happy that I've put it all back on.  I was energized going to Zumba on a regular basis, now I barely do anything active.  Along with letting go of my hair dye, I'm ready to let go of trying to conceive, and let go of preservative and sugar laden foods.  I love sugary foods, I like junk food and fast food drive thrus.  That's definitely going to be the hardest part but I know it will be worth it.