What the Fudge?

I couldn't even write it in the title.  Fuck.  That word and others in it's vein make me cringe.  I didn't always use to be this prudey and it's only been the last couple of years that I've noticed this internal reaction to a combination of letters strung together.  Notice I even took Bitch out of my blog title?

Even in my younger years, I was never a big swearer.  Sure, some mild swearing, the type you hear on TV nowadays i.e. bitch, crap, ass, occasionally pepper my world.  If I'm really mad or have an unexpected injury the f-bomb has been known to slip out, but it embarrasses me.  When my kids were little and experimenting with language I told them words were nothing but letters and sounds put together, but it was the meaning people ascribed to them that made them important. Words and language fascinate me.  What they mean, how we learn them, their origin, how they're spelled, how words in other languages can be very similar.  I've taken classes in Spanish, American Sign Language, Mandarin Chinese and French but only remember a few words of the latter two and a dabbling of the former.

I've seen facebooks posts and memes recently that extol the virtues of swearing -  people who swear tend to be more honest and trustworthy, that swearing releases emotion that relieves pain, etc.  Interestingly, regular words and swear words come from different areas of the brain.  This article  explains how it works and makes a lot of sense.  Maybe it's not the curse words I'm uncomfortable with but the display of emotion. Though, a lot of swearing I see on facebook doesn't come from emotion, more of just a word filler.  Anyhoo, I've been sitting on this post for months now and thought I'd put it out there. 

What if . . .

Sometimes an idea hits you unexpectedly and just feels right.  Don’t most things start with someone thinking “what if…”  Recently someone in my life was diagnosed with cancer.  I’m a research and action person.  What is it, and what can I do.  I’m not an outwardly emotionally expressive person and I have a hard time being comforting.  I express myself through gifts.  I love to surprise others with small treasures or a “get-well” bag.  At times, I’ve anonymously left a greeting card or a small gift for someone sick or feeling down. 

I googled “gift ideas for cancer patients” to try to come up with some appropriate things and I found lots of cancer medical information, discussion forums, cancer awareness sites and a few cancer related shops. Not exactly what I was looking for, but I did learn a few things.  For example, chemo patients often get very dry skin and lips, but can be sensitive to fragrances and chemicals that never bothered them before.   Flowers and plants can carry mold spores that are dangerous to those with a lowered immune system, and mylar balloons may interfere with medical machinery.  Most people would not think to consider these things in their well-meaning attempts to reach out.

Also, did you know that chemo can cause your finger and toenails to separate and there are ice pack gloves and slippers that may help prevent that from happening?  These gloves and slippers also help with neuropathy that may develop from chemo.  A cancer survivor suggested a Clapper would have been a welcome gift for when she was too sick to get out of bed to turn the lights off and on.  Another said hard candy kept her from the after effects of a metal taste in her mouth.  From my previous work in healthcare, I’ve heard the suggestion of peppermint candies helping with nausea in AIDS as well as cancer patients.

What if I made a place that is warm and comforting, that gives you hope and lifts your spirits a little: humorous books and gift items, inspirational wall hangings and things that make you feel beautiful.  I want the prettiest scarves and the softest slippers.  Chemically-free soaps and make-up.  Surgical grade hypo-allergenic jewelry.  Organic chocolates and candy.  Gorgeous pajamas that don’t hurt your skin and are easily put on/removed and washable. A place you can indulge without suffering or feeling guilt.  Along with these things, I want practical items.  Long-handled shoehorns, reacher /grabber sticks, decorative barf bags.  Incidentally, I discovered once that those rolls of plastic doggy waste bags are excellent for puking while traveling.

I would have a section with local resources and support groups.  Maybe monthly sessions featuring wig designers or make-up lessons after losing your eyebrows and eyelashes, or holistic support with nutrition classes, yoga classes, feng shui, reiki or spiritually based workshops.  The possibilities are endless because unfortunately my market base has a never ending supply of new people.  Above all, it would be a place that helps make life a little brighter for loved ones going through a disease process.  A place you can go to when you’re at a loss on how to help the newly diagnosed person in your life in a practical and comforting way.

What if this is what my life has been leading up to being.  I’ve spent over 20 years working in healthcare and social services.  People find me compassionate, patient and understanding.  Starting a business scares me, that is a giant leap of faith.  But, isn’t that what living life is all about?