UPDATED: Open Letter to Corban University: Corban's response

UPDATE:  To my surprise, Corban University actually responded to my email and I'm impressed with the the honest and open conversation we had.  You don't have to agree with someone to have a respectful attitude towards them and be willing to listen.  While I have different values and beliefs, I support Corban's right as a private institution to set the rules as they see fit.  See the full conversation below.

Hello again my readers; it's been awhile since my last post.  I have to be sufficiently moved by inspiration before I can make the effort to sit down and write.  Today an email moved me into action. My youngest is now a high school senior:  college visits, SAT's, applications, financial aid discussions.  I received this email from Corban University, one of a few that Melody was considering attending.

Dear Parent,

I'm writing to let you know that M. has submitted an application to Corban University. I'm so pleased to have the opportunity to learn more about M. and to get to know your family.

You probably want to know more about our Christian community as well. What could M. study at Corban? What does the campus look like? Can I afford a Corban education? How can we set up a visit? You'll find information about these topics and more on our website.

I invite you to pay particular attention to The Corban Promise, a loan repayment assistance program available to all 2016 incoming students. This program guarantees that debt will not stand in the way of our graduates' successful futures, and we're so excited to empower our students with our commitment to this promise.

I can't wait to consider M.. for admission to Corban. Once we receive your student's transcript, Christian Character Reference and test scores, we can send an admission decision in two weeks.

I know you're proud of M.., and rightly so. Please feel free to call my office at 1-800-845-3005 with any questions.

Sincerely,

Director of Admissions
Corban University

P.S. To learn more about Corban, visit our website.

Yeah, here's the thing, Corban.  I did visit your website and I don't know that our family fits in with your "Christian Character".  Ultimately, it is Melody's choice what is the best college environment for her, but your college is not one I'm going to encourage her to attend.  As a private college, you can make your own rules.  But I cannot fathom sending my child to a place where she is not allowed to love and be loved as God made her.

So, Corban, here is my response to you:

I am proud of Melody. 

I'm proud she's a smart, driven, thoughtful young Christian woman.  Once you get to know Melody and our family, will you be as welcoming when you find out that both of my children identify as gay?  Apparently our family values don't align with Corban University's listed beliefs.  Are all the traits that make her a good Corban candidate negated because of who she loves?  If you can't be proud of all the facets of who she is, why should she be proud to attend your school?

Debt may not stand in the way of her success at Corban but the school's homophobic attitude might.  What would Jesus do?

Corban Response:

I hope this email finds you well. Thank you for taking the time to write to us and to articulate your thoughts—they are valued and heard.

It sounds like your daughter is a talented and accomplished young woman, who has much to offer any university that she attends. It is encouraging to hear that she comes from a family who wants to support her in her next steps as she looks to apply at colleges.

As you mentioned in your email, you want M. to succeed while she is in college—as do we. And it all begins with setting her up for success. While we want students at Corban, we believe it is important to find a university which is going to be the best fit—in terms of what the school teaches, what they have to offer in extracurricular, the over-all campus atmosphere, etc.

You are asking important questions. Our prayer is that each student finds a college they can call “home.” Corban’s mission is “to educate Christians who will make a difference in the world for Jesus Christ.” Because of this, our focus is that our students have a relationship with Jesus Christ. We’re committed to walking through this process with M. to see if Corban is a good fit.

               

If you do have questions about what we believe specifically on our Faith Statement, please do not hesitate to reach out. We want to be of service to you, and to M. If M. would like to withdraw or continue with her application, —please let me know if I can be of assistance and help.

Again, I appreciate you taking the time to write to us and I am praying that M. finds a university which will be the best fit for her.

ME:

Thank you, I appreciate your sincere reply.  My question is:  While she is attending Corban, would M. be allowed to date another female?  What would your consequences be if she did?  Also, would she be subject to conversations and the belief that homosexuality is wrong and against God?

She is interested in attending Corban, but these are things that she needs to know beforehand.

Corban:

Thank you for your response. This is an important dialogue to ensure M. is learning in a comfortable atmosphere.

As you read in Corban’s faith statement, Corban believes God created humans male and female and has ordained marriage as a union between one man and one woman according to Genesis 1:26-27, 2:18-25 and Matthew 19:1-9. You asked if your daughter would be “allowed” to date another female. Because you are asking these questions, I can tell you are looking for honesty and want to do my job well by explaining to you what life might look like at Corban for her.

Due to our definition of what a healthy relationship is, the college believes any sexual activity outside of marriage is not healthy nor what is honoring to God. At Corban, we believe that sexuality is an important and vital part of the human experience and has been clearly created by God. That being said, we believe sexuality is to be enjoyed within the safety and commitment of marriage as outlined above.

We believe that marriage is a gift created by God, and dating relationships are a prerequisite of sorts to marriage in most cases. Because Corban’s view on marriage, as outlined in Scripture, defines marriage as one man and one woman, we would hold our students accountable to lead a lifestyle that is honoring to our Creator. Often an unpopular term, “sin” is what we would call any action or lifestyle that contradicts God based on what we know of God and our actions/lifestyle as outlined in Scripture. Corban would define sin as “separation from God.” The university wants to encourage and bring students closer to Christ in their life. The university would not see sin as bringing a student closer to Christ and thus would work with the student to bring redemption.

It is important to understand that any sin involving sexuality is a concern at the college. Much like a student who deals with lying or anger. All of us have a sinful nature and must be mentored and guided in different areas of sin. At Corban, we foster a community of respect and value where each student is viewed as being made in the image of God. If a student experiences any sort of discomfort based on others treatment, we do not tolerate that and believe that is not how God calls us to live. If M. attended Corban and was made to feel “less” or “unworthy”, that is completely unacceptable. Conversations, much like the one we are having right now, is what is needed as we all must be held accountable to our Savior and our interpretation of Scripture.

Getting back to your question, would M. be “allowed” to date another female? Now that the background has been set, the college would not view that relationship as beneficial to her well-being. M. dating another female is possible but it would not be celebrated. The “consequences” of her being in a relationship is we want restoration for all of our students and for , we want her to be able to define how her Christianity and lifestyle coexist because we see Scripture as not silent, but clear. That being said, the college would approach this with love, gentleness, and mercy, I am confident in that. We would be doing a disservice if the college or our students alike did not produce the fruits of the Spirit in every conversation and interaction.

Sexual identity is an important topic and is debated, conversed, and lectured on at the college so M is welcome to those conversations and may offer a unique perspective. The college learning environment is all about asking questions, learning, and establishing your ideas and thoughts. That being said, if we identify as Christians, our guidebook is the Bible and we must hold our thoughts and views as submissive to the word of God. To answer your question regarding if she would be subject to conversations and the belief that homosexuality is wrong and against God--she will definitely have conversations about sexual identity.  Those conversations however, will be based and guided by Corban’s beliefs that sexuality has a specific purpose and boundaries. Anything outside of those articulated boundaries would be considered unhealthy or “sinful”. As I mentioned earlier, sin is defined as “separation from God” and is contradictory to the nature of God. That being said, we want to teach our students to learn how to live a Christ-honoring life. The college and its faculty/staff will not view “sin” in varying degrees. Sin is sin; however, we recognize different sins have varying degrees of hurt or consequences.

We have many students who have same-sex attraction; however, they have defined their attraction as a “struggle” and are striving to live a life in accordance with Scripture and view Corban’s stance on sexuality as in alignment with their own beliefs. That being said, for those who have same-sex attraction, Corban is a great fit and for some it isn’t. Either way, we strive to show love, mercy, and grace because we all are striving to live a life in accordance to Scripture.

These are important issues to consider, and I would like to be transparent and honest as to where we stand as a university. Again, it is my prayer that M. will find the school which will be the best fit for her.

Please let me know if you do have further questions or concerns.

ME:

Thank you.  I don't think Corban will end up being the best fit for M, but I do appreciate your open and honest dialogue.  I am impressed that you have taken the time to be willing to discuss this in a understanding manner.  I will confirm with her if she wants to withdraw her application at this time.

CORBAN:

Not a problem. I appreciate your willingness to hear me out, and to ask important questions on your daughter’s behalf. It is encouraging to see your support, as well as you care and concern, for M’s well-being as she enters into an exciting, new phase of life.

Let us know what M. decides to do with her application moving forward.